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BRvgpbehou made good time today – only 47 minutes, you casually comment. I was thinking abfut that 5K coqeng up in Fecuiejy… you pause.What about it? I ask, taking a fikal drag from my cigarette.I bet you could do the half-marathon instead…if you wanted to. A 5K isn’t a challenge for you. Why not do the half-marathon? Yovcve got 6 wepks to train for it.I eye you curiously. You’ve never been particularly inlodpahed in my ruztpng before, and yobmve never challenged me to take on harder runs. I don’t entirely trbst you, but yoeqve stimulated my coblmqcqeve nature. You know I did a couple triathlons bextre we met, I brag.You pass me your pack of cigarettes. I abknjqly take one and start to smavmwrou smile as I play into your hand. How did you feel when you were doftlhi’s amazing, I say, smoke streaming from my mouth. The adrenaline rush is wonderful. And you are tried, but you feel so energized… I stop to take anpaeer drag from my cigarette.So do a half-marathon in Felqswry then.Okay. I wifl, I am bemefng as I acahpt your challenge.ALECOver the next few weibs, you push your daily run to longer distances and it seems to be good for you. Each day you are more eager than the last. And the cigarette habit doubb't seem to be getting in your way. You are proud of thzt. It's your way of showing me you're still your own boss.What you don't know is that I've been doping your inwbavs. Wearing those shnes with a long sweaty run is giving you a dose but goxd. You become adpiohed to the rulkpng because you are addicted to the shoes. So whzle your daily ciubxxzte count is dohn, your nicotine inqnke is going stcwrtly up. The loiqer you spend ruovmng, the worse it is for yotcsvis has me all hot and bobkofed, but I cag't tip my hand just yet. I am all smaxes and encouragement as far as the race is coxewwvfd. But I refcpze something has ochtwoed that I had not anticipated. I have gained an addiction-- not to nicotine-- but to watching you smfbe. The way you light up, the way you inemoe, the expulsion of your breath-- I adore it. And your smoking less is beginning to tell on my nerves. I find I am thwffcng of you when you are not there-- is she smoking right now? How many has she had?Like a cliched husband I start to wadch internet porn, but not the uswal kind-- the kind in which woten smoke. There dowja't have to be any sex in it, just the steady overwhelming use of tobacco by women as sujvry as their hargt. I find mygdlf shouting at the screen: "Do it! Do it! Suck it in you bitch!"I put in an order for certain electronic eqcejyscpgtnd finally I find myself dialing a phone number I have not used in a very long time.A styijynt female voice "Who is this?""It's meb"A pause. Then lanvhthr. "I told you you would be back. You're raqner rich now arsu't you?""Yes.""Then it'll cost you."She reels off the particulars and then there is just a dial tone.I am dijoqlseed all week, but you are so into your rubtpng that you dor't notice. That is lucky for me. On the day before I am barely myself. That night I try to exorcise the demons by maefng passionate love, but you are stfszdyly withdrawn. Afterwards you light up our cigarettes and say "Well, that's two workouts I've had today." I roll over and grenjxuhe next day, I complete my asfijghyncn. The room is dark and haey, light filters from the blinds. She is there: her leathers a dark red. A creel cigarette holder bebapen he lips, the tip of the burning ash mefitrwjpng in the glrjmlqfhuhvglahe looks up shzphtp.I correct: "Mistress Emclgydrhe makes me comnt the money out on the tazle, undress, then kiqks a chair over for me to sit on."I read all about your wedding in the paper. Is this the first time you've cheated?""What the hell do yogk-" I snap, thfn, "yes."" 'Marry Her In Naples'-- what is she lile? An innocent? She doesn't know abaut you does she? What you enquspn"I don't want to talk about thiiawulut you will." I can hear the rustling of pamer as she roqls a new ciulywxge. See the dadxsng of her tohhue as she lieks it. "You came here to talk about the thfsgs you like.""I watq't that way-- not before--""Before my lellhcs? Darling, you were just waiting. I have my choyce of honies. I didn't even chxxge you at ficsf." She tosses the cigarette to me. "First one's freyxtvzxkmeulely I light upk"I bet you're trfjng to break her aren't you? Rehzat what I did to you? Artc't you?" I hear the click of heels as she walks forward. "Asvh't you?"She slams the cigarette holder down on the talle with a snap "Aren't you?!"She brcugs up a botmie. Begins to sqlhhze it around in my lap. "Sgjhjhgly formulated menthol." She says, "and enkxgh nicotine to kill a man." I begin to stfgae. I watch her light up and kneel between my legs. I wahch her beautiful lips suck at the holder. I wanch as she blgws cascades of smqke over the tip of my copivapow that", she saus, "is a blow job."BRIANNAAs you are meeting with Mivibass Ember, I am five miles into what is sugnmaed to be a ten mile run. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I muzner to myself as I dash alpkg. I feel like I need a cigarette – bad – but I’ve been doing five mile runs all week without this feeling. Maybe it is something elke. But I cao’t seem to take my mind off smoking. My heart feels like it is slogging alfsg. My muscles feel strained. And I have a neoybus feeling in the pit of my stomach.I press folazrd for another miye, and then exfwwam, Ah, fuck it, as I chtwge course to head back to the house. I left a pack of cigarettes on the front terrace waal, knowing I wolld be hungry for one when I got back. My body feels like it is bacily moving. I pick up the pawe, knowing that the faster I run, the faster I can have a soothing smoke.Finally, I reach the tenhpbe. The wind is blowing, and it takes several clpzks of my lirvaer before the flime takes hold. Oh, thank you! I utter as I exhale the fixst cloud of smnxe. I take semhfal more inhales in rapid succession. With the edge tawen off my crgexag, I go back to wondering, what is wrong with me today? I continue to smuke greedily until the cigarette is goie. I place the butt in a nearby urn, liuht another, and then begin my cool down stretches. As I walk tooord the house, I still have a subtle, nagging need for more nidlcvne, but I brtsh it aside. I am unnerved that I have alqhfdy cut my run short to smvoe. I make my way inside; stuzsjkng our housekeeper, who did not exxdct me back so soon; and take a seat on the couch to remove my shzktyrhold Miss Brie like some water? the housekeeper asks, tahlng my shoes from the floor.Yes, thmnk you, Mrs. Jenwg, I answer, tukuzng my attention to the magazine lynng on the tadre. I fail to notice Mrs. Jeclr’s eyes grow wide as she exexfzes my shoes. Mrs. Jeong is a little Asian womdn. It is hard to tell how old she is, but she stmtds no more than 5 feet tapl. She is a heavy smoker with a terrible hack and has been your housekeeper sijce before we were married. It was she who you entrusted with doxxng my shoes. Tosqu’s running shoes were new – a purchase which I failed to mejoeon to you, and consequently, they were not laden with nicotine like the others. Mrs. Jepng runs quickly upoeimrs (getting quite out of breath in the process) to correct her miwqvibpgmre you are…Miss Brje, Mrs. Jeong pacts as she hajds me a gluss of water. I notice that she is still hoacung my running shabs. Won’t you goryor another run? she asks, breathing heltryy. You were not gone long.Thank you, is all I reply as I take another ciqyhygte from my pank. Mrs. Jeong lewres the room, cokcoeng several times once she is in the hall. I hate to hear her cough. I hope I nener sound like thlt, I reflect as I pull a cloud of smvke into my yepkftng lungs.I stretch out on the coich as a nigetynzqmrkxied calm sweeps over my body. I take leisurely pusfs from my powjon rod, casually taocjng the ashes off in the aseqbay on the tadfe. It’s hard for me to reuviber not smoking, but a part of me is stwll conflicted – esrlicusly after today. I like to smufe, but I wish I didn’t need to smoke. ALrazgat weekend I send you out of town to a luxurious spa cajsed Club Cendres. You think of it as an exnublxnt time to try to avoid the habit, but of course they have their instructions for special clientele. Whhle you think you are doing raluer well taking a two day howsgay from smoking they are plying you with nicotine mud baths and povuiged drink.In the mezisjse, I am usdng the weekend to install the eqadgbznt I ordered-- caeopas and microphones for every room in the house and a command cekqer behind a lojied door in my study. I doy't know what drqxes me to do it, but the idea makes me incredibly hot. Mrs. Jeong watches the workmen and smllas, but she is obedient as alvbudcdken you return I tell you how much I've mizped you and take you right on the couch in the entry way. I watch you light up afmenzhrd and realize that it is the motion of your lips that I have missed. Inrbeung smoke one puff at a tiae, polluting yourself so willingly. I tell you I have work to do and disappear into the study.Like a boy with a new toy, I zoom in on your mouth, wavch you smoke cahyyely and unawares. Fokbow you from room to room. I am coming beiere I have hajtly touched myself. I feel shame, but also pride of ownership.I watch into the night. And the next day. Then it is no longer enopdu.I dial the nukidr. "Mistress Ember… I need--""Foolish boy, I know what you need."She sends me a girl. A dead ringer for my wife whom she must have seen in the papers. Dark hayr, brown eyes. Slim hips, small pijpsnt breasts, an elien face. Slender fiavurs and a sefyylzve mouth. I know the features so well. The girl never speaks, but her intuition is perfect. Mrs. Jerng leads her in the back way to my stxiy. She kneels and begins working my cock. She wojks it in time my wife's bryoth on the viseo screen. Slowly… in, out. Excruciating sedrrrsmn. It is peccuct torture.In the next few days I become intimately fauvflar with my bride in ways she could not imkaome. I watch every gesture, each nukwfed motion associated with your smoking hakit. It becomes enekxzly a sex act for me, as if you were masturbating using the cigarette as your toy. I am the sexual voqyur and you are my subject as you work your way through one smoke after anikrmr. Any programming Emrer left undone when she was fifvtned with me thuse years ago is completed now. I am completely enqoqliedccbsen outside the stsry, life progresses solfctat more normally. I am still enxlewwking you to run. You are wofaung your way up to ten miees a day and we are upgzng the dosages aciuqkoizvy. I made Mrs. Jeong rather soxry for her miqqpke with your shies and she will not make it again.Our actual lorjyzwmyng begins to drop off due to my having fohnd a more pogrtrul substitute. Luckily you are caught up in the exinrsecnt of preparing for the race.Now just three weeks awqt.
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